So I recently turned sixty and a few months ago Greg asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday. “Go Ape” was my immediate answer. I’ve seen some of the Go Ape course at Rivington Pike and it looks very appealing indeed. Greg very kindly agreed that it would be a nice thing to do and started looking at booking us in. It seemed like a good idea to ask the kids along and they were up for it, so we chose a weekend that would suit all of us and we all booked it.
With just over a week to go, Greg decided to have a look at some videos. Some might say this was not a smart move and others might say it was a very smart move. I tend to agree with the latter: it’s probably best to know what you’re letting yourself in for. I wasn’t at all fazed by the videos but Greg was really spooked and decided he didn’t want to do it after all and cancelled his booking. Of course mine stayed intact, he’s not a party pooper after all.
The day eventually dawned and I spent most of the morning consumed by anxiety. Not about climbing high in the trees, doing tarzan swings, crossing wobbly bridges twenty feet off the ground or anything like that. Nope, my anxiety was all about getting there, getting there on time and finding a parking space. It was Easter weekend after all and sunny to boot.
All was well though and my frequent checking of Google maps paid off and we got there half an hour early and easily found a parking space. We booked me in and I collected the gloves that Greg had thoughtfully included in the booking. Not long afterwards the kids turned up with an extra guest, one of my daughter’s friends.
You can book at half hour intervals during the day which means a group goes off every half hour from opening to closing. While we were waiting to start, the group before us were in training and when we started our training they’d moved off to start their adventure. Half an hour seems a reasonable headstart but we actually caught some of them up later on in the day.
So, the safety training. We were given our harnesses and strapped into them tightly. Then we were shown how to keep ourselves attached at all times. Then we had to practice on some ground level equipment to show we had some idea of what to do (amazingly there have been fatal accidents involving people not attaching their harnesses to the equipment.) Then onto the next level of training, still low level, but off the ground. Our instructor showed us first and then we had a go. A small tightrope and a tiny zipwire and then we were on our own.
There are five sections of the course: all start with climbing up a rope ladder to a platform high up in a tree and end with a zipwire. The highest platform at Rivington is 13m high but we started at a lower level so we could acclimatise. Once up on the first platform my son decided this wasn’t for him and went back down the ladder and joined Greg at ground level (Greg had agreed to be our official photographer for the day, which was useful because I couldn’t get my phone out of my pocket at all easily).
Then there were a couple of wobbly bridges and a high wire and it was time for the first of two tarzan swings. I’d noticed one or two people ahead of me being quite hesitant about it but I trusted the harness, the safety training I’d received and my ability to take it on board and went for it. Just a tip for anybody considering doing this, sit down in your harness until it takes your weight, then push off. It’s much easier that way.
I’d noticed people had allowed themselves to rebound after hitting the net the first time and then grabbing hold when swinging into it the second time. That’s really sensible and I think it may have featured in the safety training because if you grab the net when you first hit it, you could potentially dislocate your shoulder when you rebound and then you wouldn’t be able to Go Ape again. I therefore sensibly waited until after the rebound before grabbing the net and climbing up. This actually proved to be the most difficult bit because you’re pulling your bodyweight up but I managed it.
Then I think there were a couple more wobbly bridges (these were all different and wobbled in a variety of ways, all equally disconcerting) and my first zipwire. It was fun and I somehow managed to swing round so I landed backwards and had to dig my heels in to brake. Then we moved onto the second section.
This section had a crossing with what my daughters referred to as Gladiator rings (referring to the popular TV series way back when). I watched them crossing over using them and wisely decided that I could use my age as an excuse to take the easier path (there are a couple of sections on the course where it divides into extreme and easy), so I took another variety of wobbly bridge, followed by a series of V shaped ropes I had to step across.
The end of this section was the longest zipwire across water in the UK and possibly Europe. I have to admit I was slightly disappointed because the bit over water was actually only a small part of the zipwire and I’d imagined being over water for all of 5 minutes but I suppose that was unrealistic of me so I shouldn’t complain. However I do feel justified in complaining about being compared to Mary Poppins as I glided in ever so elegantly. Apparently all that was lacking was an umbrella.
I really can’t remember the exact order of sections three and four but I know they comprised a series of wobbly bridges, highwires, wobbly and swinging platforms (it was a bit like being in a platformer at times) and increasingly narrower and higher ladders up to increasingly higher platforms in the trees. Oh and ending with a zipwire of course, when I made a point of looking absolutely nothing like Mary Poppins.
At no point did I experience any sense of danger. I trusted the harness implicitly and I’d got the rhythm of green clip, blue clip, red clip, red clip, blue clip, green clip pretty much from the start. I was quite comfortable leaning over and looking at the ground (which was anything up to 13m below me) and could quite happily have leaned out over the edge. The only thing stopping me was the potential embarrassment of losing my footing, slipping, not being able to get back up again and having to be rescued.
When we got to the fifth and final section there was a bit of a backlog. There was also some confusion because it is right next to the start of the second section. Therefore we had quite a long wait before we could even climb the first ladder. While we were waiting a couple from the same training group arrived: a woman with her teenage daughter. The daughter was wearing a skeleton top and looked quite alternative and she told me she likes my Totoro tee shirt, which triggered a long and sometimes quite animated discussion about Studio Ghibli films.
Eventually we were able to climb to the first platform and we could see what had caused the hold up: The final tarzan swing. We noticed a few people jibbing at it and one poor woman needed masses of encouragement to launch herself at it. When she finally did, I couldn’t resist cheering (I wasn’t the only one). It takes real courage to do something like that when you’re scared. Unfortunately there was another hold up, again caused by the tarzan swing. This time it was a boy, about ten years old. He was happy to do the swing but he was tired and didn’t have the strength to pull himself up the net. Fortunately Go Ape covers every eventuality and they were able the hook him up to a pulley and help him up to the platform.
Around the same time the boy’s brother got stuck on the final zipwire and also had to be rescued. Greg saw it all happening and apparently the poor lad was stuck there a good five minutes, with his mum telling him there was nothing she could do. I saw him being rescued and taken down the zipwire in tandem with a member of staff. Poor lad, I wouldn’t fancy that at all and five minutes would seem like an eternity in that situation.
After what seemed like an eternity it was time to do the final tarzan swing. It was actually a short zipwire and tarzan swing combined. I wasn’t at all fazed by it and sat down in my harness and launched myself. Remember what I said earlier about not grabbing the net on the first swing? Well somebody forgot all that and grabbed the net. I didn’t dislocate my shoulder but it got a sharp tug and I won’t be doing that again, although I’m totally up for going ape again. The climb up the net was knackering and I completely understood how the boy had got stuck earlier. Then there was crossing involving a series of wobbly and swinging platforms and I then went down the final zipwire. Nailed it!
It had taken us about three and a half hours and we decided to see if The Barn was still open, as a brew and some cake seemed very appealing. However it was closing so we had to knock that idea on its head. Just before we left, my son gave me my birthday present: some homemade wild garlic pesto, which tastes amazing (in a good way) and a sci fi novel. I got home on an absolute high but also absolutely knackered.
Would I recommend Go Ape? I would wholeheartedly but it’s not for everybody. You need a decent level of fitness because it takes quite a lot out of you and you definitely need a head for heights. Being an adrenaline junkie will help but you need to make sure your harness is attached to the steel cables at all times so you need to be quite methodical about it too. If you are reasonably fit, have a head for heights, can follow basic instructions and fancy doing it, go for it. It’s great value for money and you’re going to have a great time.
Growing Old Without Dignity 